Other than Good Friday, Ash Wednesday is probably the day on
which children are least expected or planned for in the sanctuary. The prophet Joel, however, insists that
parents bring their children to the meeting he has called to point out to the
whole community that they are sinners.
Today, there is much for children to learn from seeing their parents and
the leaders of the congregation wearing ashen crosses and even more from wearing
ashes themselves. The experience deeply
binds them to their faith community.
+ The imposition of ashes is
amazing to children. They marvel at the
sight of adults wearing the ashes. At
first they wear their own ashes as a sign that “I am one of them” or “I
belong.” Over the years as they hear the
language about sin, forgiveness and repentance, they begin to wear them as an
admission that “yes, I too am a sinner.”
This is not an easy step for those children who are repeatedly told that
they are wonderful and capable. It also
flies in the face of all the adult insistence that they can make good choices
which is often taken to mean “if you try hard enough, you won’t be a
sinner.” Sharing in Ash Wednesday worship
makes it easier to make the admission that “yes, I too am a sinner” by setting
it in the presence of everyone else making the same admission.
We are all first marked with the
cross using water (and sometimes oil) at our baptisms. At that time to be marked with the cross is a
wonderful thing. We are identified as
the loved children of God. On Ash
Wednesday we are marked with the cross using ashes and the words, “remember you
are dust.” The ashes and words remind us
that we are not so wonderful. In fact,
we are all sinners. Fortunately the sign
is not an X, marking us as hopeless rejects, but a cross reminding us that God
loves and forgives us, sinners though we be.
+ For
children the ashes themselves remind us of all the
horrible things we do to hurt each other. They look like burned buildings. They remind us of all the war pictures we
see. And, they remind us of all the ways
we make war on each other every day with hitting, name-calling, telling lies
about others, and so much more. Write
some of these words on a piece of white paper with a finger dipped in the
ashes. Try to erase it making a smudgy
mess and note that once we start doing those things it is almost impossible to
get them cleaned up. It’s a
real mess. It leaves its mark on each
one of us. Only God can get us out of
our mess. On this day we wear ashes to
admit that we are messed up sinners, but we make those ashes in the shape of a
cross to remind ourselves that God loves and works with us to do better no
matter how we mess up.
Avoid the temptation to turn this into
an object lesson about sin and forgiveness.
Children will not follow you.
Instead leave it as a meditation on how messy we and our sins are.
WARNING: In the Comments
recently one reader noted that children often worry that the ashes will be hot
and will burn on their forehead. She
makes it a practice to show with her hands and note aloud that the ashes were
once hot, but are now quite cool.
+ Create
a responsive prayer of confession with the leader offering confessions of sin
and the congregation responding to each “Forgive us our
sins/trespasses/debts” from the Lord’s Prayer. Before praying point out the response and its
place in the Lord’s Prayer which we pray every week. Include confessions about sins children will
recognize near the beginning of the prayer e.g.
God, we can be really mean to each
other. Even when we don’t plan to we say
unkind words, we call people nasty names, we hit, we hurt.
God we want to always tell the truth,
but we don’t. When we are caught in
something that will get us in trouble, we lie.
When we want to pass a test, it is easy to cheat. When we get mad at friends, we tell awful
lies about them.
+ Give
children and all worshipers a simple prayer to pray
as they wash their face at
the end of the day.
“God wash away my sin and help me live like your
child.”
+ In
spite of their interest in the ashes, for
children Ash Wednesday is mainly the beginning of Lent. Lent is for them spring training for
disciples. We begin the season admitting
to ourselves and others that we are not perfect disciples and are fortunate
that God loves and forgives us anyway.
We then commit to doing better.
When children are offered specific doable disciplines that will help
them be better pray-ers, better Bible readers, better at serving others, they
respond enthusiastically. Having
committed themselves to such disciple training, they come to communion as to
the training table. Here they are
reminded of God’s love of those who try and do well and also to those who try
and do not do as well as they wish.
+ Go to Observing Lent and Easter in Year B (2015) for Lenten discipline plans for families: a different discipline for each week, a Jesus figure to move around the house as stories of Jesus are read, a bookmark listing a story to read each week, a prayer challenge complete with pretzel reminder.
+ Many
congregations mark the beginning of Lent by changing the paraments and adding
special crosses to the sanctuary. It is
very appropriate to make these changes on Ash Wednesday. But, if the reality is that many will not be
part of the Ash Wednesday service, consider
stripping the sanctuary for that day leaving it somber and then adding the
Lenten colors and symbols on the first Sunday of Lent when you can call the
majority of the congregation to observe Lent.
+ Another
way to set the sanctuary for Lent is to cover the Table
or hang a large banner made of natural burlap that has been painted with black
crosses. At Blue Ridge
church last year, worshipers of all ages painted this one during the Ash
Wednesday service.
+ In Sharing the Easter Faith With Children
I offer detailed plans for 2 Ash Wednesday services. Neither is built on the lectionary readings
for the day.
One is a traditional sanctuary
service built around the stories of Peter who had to repent frequently. It uses many traditional prayers selected
with the presence of children in mind, a call to confession, the imposition of
ashes, changing the paraments, introduction of Lenten disciplines, and
communion.
The second begins with a pancake
supper at which soap crosses are carved or wooden crosses are sanded and rubbed
with linseed oil. After supper people
follow the tolling handbells to the sanctuary for a short service of stories
about picking up crosses and following Jesus.
+ Go to Bread
not Stones: Remember You Are Dust to read an essay about how important Ash Wednesday can be to
children. Don't miss Rebecca's idea in the comments about how to
encourage children to come to the service.
Looking for a good story to read during Ash
Wednesday?
+ The Quarreling Book, by Charlotte Zoltow, is not really
about quarreling and might be a perfect story to read on Ash Wednesday. It traces a series of mean things people do
to others in response to someone doing something mean to them. After reading the first half of the book
pause to note that we all get involved in such spreading meanness AND that we
can stop it. Then read the second half
of the book in which a series of kind acts reverses the situation. Note that on Ash Wednesday we admit the mean
things we do, then during Lent work on making the second half of the book come
true each day.
+ Balance the harshness of the ashes on the foreheads
with one of the children’s classics in which a parent loves a child who is not
always good, e.g. Mama Do You Love Me?, Papa Do You Love me?,
or Runaway
Bunny.
The Texts for Ash Wednesday
Joel 2:1-2, 12-17
+ This
text can frighten children with its threat of God punishing people. Isaiah’s message with its call to change your
ways is complicated, but gives children a way to respond other than simply be
frightened.
+ Incorporate Joel’s trumpet into the call to
worship.
Trumpet
alarm (not a fanfare)
Leader: Blow the trumpet; sound the alarm on
Zion, God’s sacred hill.
Tremble,
people of Judah!
The
day of the Lord is coming soon.
Come
back to the Lord your God.
He
is kind and full of mercy;
he
is patient and keeps his promise;
he
is always ready to forgive and not punish.
Trumpet
alarm repeated.
Leader: Blow the trumpet on Mount Zion;
give
orders for a fast and call an assembly!
Gather
the people together;
prepare
them for a sacred meeting;
bring
the old people;
gather
the children
and
the babies too.
Even
newly married couples must leave their room and come.
(Joel 2:1, 13b, 16 – Today’s
English Version)
Isaiah 58:1-12
+ Though
this is a complicated passage, when it is explained to children, they
respond. Isaiah is saying we don’t need
to be sad about the bad things we do.
Instead, we need to stop doing those things. We need to change our ways, to repent. Verses 6 and 7 are key. When they are explored and linked to specific Lenten disciplines
offered to the congregation, children take them up enthusiastically.
+ Introduce
fasting as going without something. Point out that frequently it means going
without food. Some people plan to go
without something they like for the six weeks of Lent, e.g. go without
chocolate or sodas or desserts. But
Isaiah suggests that we go without some bad habits and cultivate new ones. Isaiah would say to children,
Fast from being greedy, feast on
sharing
Fast from telling lies, feast on
telling the truth
Fast from hating, feast on loving
Fast from teasing, feast on kind
words
Encourage worshipers to make up their own fast - feast
challenges and to undertake living by them during Lent. (This is based on a more adult list found at What the Tide Brings In.) The worksheet below is one way to
present this challenge to children. Urge
them to post their papers somewhere in their room at home where they will see
it often.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
During Lent I will
Fast from
_________________________________________
And
feast on_________________________________
_____________________________________
(Your
name)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++
Psalm 51:1-17
+ King
David arranged for a man to be killed in battle (accidently on purpose) so that
the King could marry his wife. Adult
Bible students will know why David wanted to marry Bathsheba, but the murderous
theft of a wife is significant in itself to grab the attention of worshipers of
all ages. What do you pray to God after
you do that?
Transgression Iniquity
Sin Evil Guilty
+ Verses
1 -6 are descriptions of how sinful humans can be. They include lots of unfamiliar “sin” words
–transgressions, iniquity, sin, evil, and guilty (NRSV). Write one or
more of these words on a large sheet of poster paper in black crayon or dip
your fingers in the ash pot and write them as you point them
out. Briefly describe all the ways we
hurt and sin against each other and God.
Specifics help. Name calling,
hitting to hurt, cutting someone out, teasing someone to hurt them, and telling
a lie or a secret are familiar sins to children. Point out that we don’t like to admit we do
these things, but that all of us do.
Then note that on this day every year (and perhaps during each Sunday
worship service), we take time to be honest with ourselves, with God and with
each other about this. We are all
sinners.
+ Verse
10, “Create in me a clean heart and put a new and right
spirit within me” is an interesting word picture that has to be
explored before children can grasp it.
The literal picture is both odd and right on target. Children need to be told David did not want
God to cut him open and wash off his heart.
But, he did want God to help him “clean up his act.” He wanted God to give him a second chance or
a fresh start and wanted God to help him do better. He wanted to repent. When we pray this prayer we join David. (Even though we haven’t done anything as bad
as having someone killed, we have done lots of other hurtful, sinful
things). If you have done the sin words
poster, add REPENT in purple marker.
2 Corinthians
5:20b-6:10
+ For
children on Ash Wednesday this is simply a call to repent now. Now, during Lent, is a good time to work on
being better disciples. “Just do it!”
They will not hear this as the passage is read, but depend on the
worship leaders to restate the call in other ways during worship.
Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-21
+ This
is another “just do it” message. Jesus
says we should not make a show out of our Lenten disciplines. We don’t need to tell everyone we know and
remind them of how good we are being by doing it. Instead we are to make it between us and
God. Talk to God about it. Ask God to help us. Thank God for forgiving us when we fail. Tell God why we are doing it.
An idea to save for another year
Janelle Hooper emailed me the following about how she used the Jesus figure on Ash Wednesday. It looks like a saver to me, so I'm sharing it with you for later. Thanks for sharing, Janelle.
Blessings! Thought I would let you know I used "flat Jesus" for Ash Wednesday, putting a sticky note with a black cross on his forehead. I reviewed with the kids Transfiguration and flat Jesus, then explained the ashes on our foreheads as a sign of needing help. I tied it into last years palm branches (using a picture) and the palms/Hosanna as signs of help. And that wearing the ashes our like raising our hands asking for help. And that even Jesus needed help on this difficult Lenten journey. Also that we can be that help in the world. I gave them small money collection boxes to take home to help raise money for our sister synod in Peru. And briefly talked about what it means to help sisters and brothers. The kids seem to be enjoying it, thanks for the inspiration.
An idea to save for another year
Janelle Hooper emailed me the following about how she used the Jesus figure on Ash Wednesday. It looks like a saver to me, so I'm sharing it with you for later. Thanks for sharing, Janelle.
Blessings! Thought I would let you know I used "flat Jesus" for Ash Wednesday, putting a sticky note with a black cross on his forehead. I reviewed with the kids Transfiguration and flat Jesus, then explained the ashes on our foreheads as a sign of needing help. I tied it into last years palm branches (using a picture) and the palms/Hosanna as signs of help. And that wearing the ashes our like raising our hands asking for help. And that even Jesus needed help on this difficult Lenten journey. Also that we can be that help in the world. I gave them small money collection boxes to take home to help raise money for our sister synod in Peru. And briefly talked about what it means to help sisters and brothers. The kids seem to be enjoying it, thanks for the inspiration.
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